Friday, August 20, 2010

Criminal Behavior

I am back in Kentucky and I am a murderer. No, if I am to be honest, I am a mass murderer. I wasn't raised that way but it just happened. A sad, sad state of affairs.

It started innocently enough. Fuchsia and I had to go to town to stock up on all the things I consider necessities after being away for a month (her version of what is necessary is way different than mine) so we hopped in the car and headed for the nearest big town (2400 people). It had recently rained which had brought out every black butterfly within 600 miles. All of them were in the road.

I tried avoiding them for the first several miles but being tossed from side to side in the car was not quite the joy ride Fuchsia had been envisioning. She pointed out that getting ourselves killed by calling both sides of the road our own was probably not the best answer to the dilemma. No, I would have to face up to the fact that our grocery trip would involve murder. On a mass scale.

I hit them. I plowed through hundreds of them. And I winced every time I did.

By the time we had finished our errands and returned home my sides ached from all the wincing. My jaws were locked together and I had a massive headache. The front of my car was covered with butterfly gore. I won't even discuss the immense guilt complex. My biggest hope is that they don't decide to stage a revenge and retribution melee.

I may park the car for the rest of the summer. You all can be ready for me to call you for a ride. Just bring the car with the butterfly catcher.


bettyl said...

Ewww! I can imagine your mess and I feel for you. They may be 'only butterflies' but once you think about them and their little families and daddy trying to get to work...oh, my, I need to lie down. ;=)

Mara said...

Well, what were they doing out in the road anyway? Don't they learn any driving/traffic rules in school?

I hope you gave them all a nice burial (or washed them down the drain).

Meri said...

Think of the chains of events that will never be set off because those particular butterfly wings no longer flutter.

Misfit in Paradise said...

Oh, the guilt you all have inspired! I may need to take a nap to deal with the pressure.

Kate said...

Must be a Kentucky syndrome.. I've never had that problem in New England with butterflies. However, it was raining the other night as we were driving, and we squished our share of toads. I don't know why they insist on hopping out into the road when it rains, but it's not a pretty sound when we crunch them.. Kind of hard to avoid. Try not to feel too guilty!

Misfit in Paradise said...

Ah yes Kate, I have done the frog thing too.

Kate said...

We are evil human beings, aren't we? ;)